Medellin, a city without charm

Medellin reminds me of a small country town that grew in size but not in mentality. The city has a distinct gray and monotone feel to it while walking around. The bricks on all of the buildings are the same color. Add in the usual gray skies, and you've got the city's depressingly ubiquitous grey/maroon color scheme.

The locals are also of no assistance. Most are reserved and closed off, which is an anomaly in what is supposed to be an outgoing Colombian society. It's almost as if something is bubbling up and lurking under the surface as relics of the city's violent history.

I keep coming up short no matter how hard I try to find something good here, something to justify my time commitment here. It just doesn't seem to suit my personality or travel experience.

Medellin is a city without a soul, a city without beauty in several respects. A city where everything works but nothing stands out enough to entice you to return or persuade anyone to visit. It is sometimes the imperfections that distinguish a city and keep it from being too generic. For others, a well-functioning city is sufficient, but I'd rather live in an incomplete city with a spirit.

The women aren't particularly bright

The greatest roadblock we encountered with Colombian women was their own small minds. They are deeply ignorant. If a girl is over the age of 22, she will most likely have a child, and the father will most likely be absent. Many of them were unable to recall their own phone numbers or email addresses. They'd forget why they were walking down the street in the first place. Not only that, but they’re incredibly vapid. British women, on the other hand, are full of quirkiness and personality. Colombian women seem to do nothing but sit at home and watch television or browse Facebook. They didn't have anything to chat about. The conversation was challenging. I'll give you a priceless framework for playing in Colombia if you're an aspiring player:

Do not attempt to arrange dates; Colombians are incapable of any kind of forethought. What you do is gather a large number of numbers, at least a few dozen, from every source and engage them in endless, time-consuming Whatsapp chats full of selfies and smilies. Run these conversations for days and days.

Regularly go out to a bar with friends and then mass-text your entire contact list with an epic selfie of A GROUP HAVING LOTS OF MINDBLOWING FUN, telling them you're having a great time and they should come.

This will trigger their vibe-parasitism and provide a group for them to thrive and seek attention in, so maybe one or two (out of 50) will show up. Make them envious of each other, then pick the one who fondles you the most and play the regular game. 

They are social creatures

In Colombia, all seems to be done in groups. The majority of people live in large family homes. They go shopping with each other. They collaborate and socialize together. When they don't have anything to do in a party, they just do nothing, which is why they watch TV. They are sometimes wary of doing anything one on one, and will soon want to bring other friends along. As an Englishman, I found it all a little oppressive.