Blandness is term that best describes Holland and it's people

Submitted 1 year 2 weeks ago by maxpain.

It's only argument against blandness is the red light district and the "coffee shops" that legally sell marijuana, but I see those more as tourist gimmicks than truly Dutch elements. My observations of Dutch people: Tall and attractive; very wooden, stoic, and somewhat unfriendly and rude; very robotic (no offense), and the women seemed somewhat snobbish and unfeminine. The women don’t wear jewelry or make-up, or brush their hair and baths are usually taken once a week.

The Dutch think they are very sociable and inclusive – but sadly they lack all empathy on that front. For most Dutch people, it is family first, second and last. Relationships on the whole tend to be extremely superficial and no conversation goes into any depth as they lack depth. And worse than that, they have not learned the art of social conversation. They are so full and ready to voice opinions, but only the safe ones, the real one is whispered behind everyone’s back. In the Netherlands, you are considered lucky to have one or two real friends.

Another characteristic in the Netherlands is superficial tolerance. Unsurprisingly, discrimination is widespread in the Netherlands. Dutch tolerance is fine for same-sex relationships, attitude towards drugs and prostitution, but there appears to be a blind spot, or better said a black spot when it comes to Zwarte Piet.

Confrontation – best ignored because it really upsets a Dutch person and thus does not get you anywhere. They simply cannot handle it. And it is either met with an attack back at you, tears or whimpering away into a corner.

If you start working at a Dutch company, do not expect anyone to care about you. They are not interested in you, do not have the ability to put themselves in your shoes. Friday after work drinks…. Dutch prefer to share a beer (paid by the boss) from a crate on the kitchen (or meeting room) table. One beer and off they go (if work finishes at 5 they are off at 5.30 on the dot. There is always someone waiting for them at home. And no evening can be skipped or missed. They are stuck in a rut. And if they tell you about the great weekend they had, you can be rest assured, they have had a few birthday parties to attend from relatives – great or small – Opa, Oma, Niece or Nephew, same family all sharing birthdays in the same month, well they will go again next week, not a problem. Same crappy food (crisps for the kids and little crackers with filet american and brie for the adults) – same non conversation about football practice, swimming diplomas, holiday plans, school results, local dramas of bins not having been collected etc. too dull to mention.

Street fashion: the Dutch street fashion is in general….boring. Most Dutch women wear a leather jacket, jeans (preferably white or light-colored) and brown boots. Sounds stylish, right? Dutch men have a lot of gel in their hair (bleah!) and wear jeans and some very ugly (and usually also very old) brown shoes. Thankfully, there are a lot of expats that add flavor to the street fashion and you get to see some interesting outfits now and then.

The Dutch have a lot of weird habits

a) Dutch can only have one warm meal a day and that’s dinner. And that’s almost holly to them! Their lunches are always composed of a lot of bread with a thin slice of cheese or even more “tasty” butter and chocolate sprinkles! And when they see you eating a warm dish for lunch, they almost blame you like…mm..that’s too much warm food, “are you going to eat a sandwich for dinner or again a hot meal?!” It’s like your stomach will explode if you eat 2 warm meals a day…

b) Milk is the beverage of choice at adult business lunches or dinners. If a Dutch invites you to dinner, you should be very careful. Coz most of the time you will have to pay your own meal and drinks. That's why it is called Dutch treat.

c) Dutch always have to have the last word and there is always a ‘ja, maar’ (yes, but).

d) They're obsessed with the color orange and drugs from coffee shops. In rural areas it is even worse. All the women have short hair because “it is so practical”.

Dutch women

Dutch females really have to be strong and confident or else they will be walked over by the (native) Dutch males. Dutch women expect total acquiescence from men, and the ability to follow orders. Dutch women, through a series of shouting, rudeness, and intimidation, will eventually home in on the man most likely to carry their shopping bags for them at Albert Heijn in the near future. They’ll persist until their chosen victim has turned into a lump of quivering jelly. Unlike the rest of the world, in the Netherlands it wasn’t the cavemen who went out hunting, it was actually the women. The men were busy in the cave, perfecting what would later be known as the Lion King hairstyle and looking after the kids, while the women, after a hard days hunting would return home, and start drawing paintings of themselves and their hunting activities on the walls of the cave.

Personal grooming

Being Dutch, outside of the office she dressed for comfort. Some might say that she was too lazy to make an effort with her appearance, but I wouldn’t dream of saying such a thing. Once you get married even the little effort she once made to look just like every other Dutch girl about town will go out of the window. Out of nowhere she’ll start wearing cardigans that no self respecting moth would ever dream of laying eggs in. She’ll whip out a Philips electric razor and do horrifying things to her hair. What little makeup she possesed will start gathering cobwebs. She’ll wear birkenstocks when she goes out shopping and start buying her lingerie at Wibra. Ironically, she’ll still spend a lot of time telling you what you should be wearing, and going shopping with you, and choosing clothes as if you’re just about to go to school for the first time and need to look smart.

Dutch women are never wrong about anything!

If you’re from London, and a Dutch woman tells you the name of what she says is THE coolest club in the city, don’t politely point out to her that the place she’s referring to has been closed down for several years, and is in fact used as an old peoples home. A key thing I’ve learned about Dutch women is that they’re always right. So don’t argue, smile and nod politely and say “ja, je hebt gelijk.”


When dating a Dutch woman, she’ll speak admiringly about how hard you work, and will be charming and polite to you in public. Once you’re married the family dog will be treated with more respect than you. In fact there’ll be times when you’re not sure if she’s addressing you or the dog, so abrupt is her manner of speaking. When forcibly dragged to the drie dwaze dagen sale at De Bijenkorf, at wifepoint, your face will turn red as she shouts “I SAID THE SKINNY JEANS, DO THOSE LOOK LIKE SKINNY JEANS TO YOU?” Sadly, you’ll get used to this and five years from now will think it’s completely normal to be shouted at and bossed around like a pre-politically correct revisionist version of Zwarte Piet.

Never ask a Dutch woman to cook

If you value your life, never, ever, get the idea in your head to ask your Dutch partner to cook for you. Don’t even ask for a sandwich. A lot of Dutch women, just like their British counterparts believe that critical processes in preparing a meal involve a microwave, or a dangerous driving scooter rider to execute the delivery of the dish. If you actually have the temerity to request a home cooked meal (even if you’ve cooked for her before) don’t be surprised if she turns into an angry shouting demon as a result. “Hoe haal je het in je hoofd??????”

Dutch men

To get anywhere with a Dutch man you have to be able to understand, respect and tolerate their primary religion which is money. Dutch men worship money above just about anything else. If you wish to get into a Dutchman’s heart you need to accept that there are three of you in the relationship, him, you and his money which he will cling onto like a Gold Digger to a footballer. When he presents you with your portion of the bill, smile gracefully and pay your share as if this is the most normal thing in the world.

If you do manage to bag yourself a Dutchmen, and end up moving in with him, you’ll be the witness to an incredible transformation. The once proud Dutch lion will become a pussycat. Dutch women, even though they typically only contribute less than 25% of income to the household, firmly rule the roost and wear the trousers at home. Visit any V&D or major store on a Saturday and you’ll witness the once proud Dutch lion being bossed around by his poorly dressed partner. Once you have a Dutchman he will expect you to bark orders at him like a circus trainer shouting at his animals. Don’t forget this as otherwise he’ll be unsettled in the relationship and may go elsewhere for a bit of tough love.

When chasing their prey, a common mistake made by Expat women is to dress well. In other words, not wearing jeans or old boots that look as if they’ve been handed down from mother to daughter to granddaughter. Expat women have also been known to visit hairdressers more than twice a year and they are also not strangers to wearing makeup. This can make the skittish and highly sensitive Dutchman extremely nervous. A well dressed woman with styled hair and makeup might be after the thing he values most, his money.

To stand a chance with a Dutchman, my advice is to take a flight to London. Find a homeless person that fits your size, and then pay them some money to hand over their jeans which should be in a pretty poor state. Wear the jeans, along with a pair of second hand boots purchased from Marktplaats (the Dutch Ebay) and for the rest of the outfit follow the example of Dutch women.


Dutchmen and Brown Shoes go together like Drones and dead civilians, Amsterdam and high apartment rental costs and Miley Cyrus and bad taste. I guarantee that on your first date with a Dutchmen the standard uniform of Brown Shoes, Blue Jeans, a smart shirt and a suit jacket will be worn. This is because like their female counterparts, Dutch men believe firmly in Doe Maar Normaal, i.e. do not under any circumstances display any individuality in case you stand out.


Since I moved here the new thing I started doing is: checking the weather daily and learnt a lot about wind speed, humidity and rain probabilities. I even have a mobile app that predicts rain probability in the next 2 hours. You can check the amount of rain per each 5 minutes. It is very handy when you have to leave the house and it is raining…you check it and then you see that in 10 min it will stop raining…so you can better wait


It is a bit difficult to become close friends with the Dutchies. In general, they are somewhat unfriendly and boring but you will not have problems with chit-chat conversations with them. But building a true friendship is difficult as you need to build a lot of trust, plus most of them already have a big group of close friends that they know since childhood…so you can imagine it not so easy for you to fit in. Best approach: get a Dutch boy/girl-friend.


The Dutch are very self-centered and ignorant. A number of surveys have shown that even with the largest employment agencies in the Netherlands, that when people with identical CV’s apply for jobs, that those from non-EU backgrounds are not offered the same opportunities. Dutch people are happy to be bland and this leads to an apathy toward new things. Dutch people don't understand other cultures, they are probably the most ethnocentric people in Europe. Also, the Dutch are some of the filthiest people in western Europe. The women feel like empty but beautiful storefront window dolls being mostly bland, boring and cold.


Aleksey's picture

I have never met anyone Dutch people, but from what I have gleaned from associates they are evil.