How to Date an Aspergers girl
If you're a neurotypical person dating an autistic person, it's a good idea to educate yourself on how an aspie will act in various relationship situation, or you might get offended by his/her seemingly cold attitude. I went out with a girl on the autism spectrum and let me be frank: the obstacles to overcome are several. In many cases, they are considered "disabled" in the eyes of the law. Their parents may even have legal guardianship over them. They will at times appear selfish, cold and indifferent and not ask questions. If you are not careful she will use you as her chat buddy where you have interesting and great 3 hour long conversations, but never get anywhere sexually with her.
Also, you will find yourself having to frequently interrupt her, otherwise she will easily talk about one idea for 20 to 30 min straight if you don't rein her in or change the topic. Many autistic people have a few favorite subjects (sports statistics, cats, writing fiction) that they are very passionate about. These are a great way to their heart.
Most of the time she will seem quite robotic and frigid...but if you can turn her on (like really turn her on) watch out ! Aspie girls can be some of the most sexually charged girls you will be ever be with. One of theories for the causes of aspergers is an inbalance of testosterone, so these girls can actually get as super horny as a man. Trick is adapting your game to these type of girls and finding the correct way to unlock the raging nymphomaniac in her. Trust me...it's in there. Be ready for it.
Going out with a robot
Aspergers people prefer to communicate via text because they can just read the words without having to worry about such things as tone of voice, body language, or displaying the proper reaction to the other person. It's simpler. Speaking of simple: here are some "robot rules" so you can be super cool:
1. Don't talk about Aspergers! Or any mental illness. Unless she brings it up. And don't make fun of people for being crazy, even if she does. It's sort of like racially charged humor: it's only "ok" when we do it.
2. Don't overdo the warmth and comfort - it's something they're not used to getting much of and can close off very quickly if you overdo it. Be fun to be with and listen to her long and pointless rambling because most people will not.
3. Be careful with escalation - do it slowwwwly. If you grab her or god forbid, try to kiss her, she will flip out. Instead of a kiss, go for holding hands or a hug at first. Often it is a matter of having difficulty distinguishing between being touched casually and intimately (and I don't mean sex). The more she lets you touch her, the more she trusts you.
4. Don't try to tell complicated jokes or fancy body language. 9/10 times she won't get it.
5. Speak with exact and precise language. Use numbers and stick with facts. For example:
DON'T SAY:
I drank a lot of water.
He is very tall.
I drove a long way.
The price of gas is high.
DO SAY:
I drank a gallon of water.
He is six foot, six inches.
I drove 57 miles.
6. At first the robot will view physical contact and extended social interaction as the price to be paid for going on a "date." Eventually, though, it will start to desire more of it, though it won't recognize it consciously as such for some time. Once it does, though, it won't want to leave you alone...
7. Be aware that loud, bright, and crowded environments are like their own personal hell. They will need to avoid these places or have a clear time limit of how long they will be in them in order to deal with the overstimulation.
8. Be clear about your own thoughts and feelings. Picking up on body language can be difficult work for an autistic person, and they might not realize what's going on, or guess completely wrong. If you want them to know your feelings, the easiest way is to express them out loud.
"I'm sorry I snapped at you. I'm a little on edge today because of my dad coming. You did nothing wrong."
My Aspie girl
Dating a girl with Asperger's Syndrome really does not come with all the bullcrap that comes with dating a normal girl. I didn't realize she had asperger initially, I just thought she had some OCD or that was extremely neurotic. I have noticed more and more among online dating women to state that they have some form of mental/physical condition or ailment. I have encountered all of the following at one time or another, either on their profiles or uncovered through text messaging: chronic pain, fibromyalgia, stomach problems, Crohn's disease, gluten intolerance, autism, depression, bipolar disorder.
A lot of the hobbies and careers in the modern world are very logical and by-the-book. To program a computer, for instance, you research how a programming language works and then express a procedure as commands in that language. The challenging part is the amount of focused attention that's needed to think through the implications of every branch in the decision tree, and come up with the optimal method, using the available tools. Having an obsessive interest and a comprehensive knowledge of a niche topic comes in handy for a programmer as will as dating Aspie girls.
