How to build a quick rapport with anyone

A lot of people are interested in strengthening and furthering relationships. The simplest answer to this is to make it all about the other person. Both anecdotal evidence as well as science supports the fact that the greatest happiness is found in positive social interactions and relationships. Our brain rewards us chemically when we are able to talk and share our own views, priorities, and goals with others… long term, short term, etc. Our brain also rewards us when we are unconditionally accepted for who we are as a human being without judgement.

Both of these concepts are genetically coded in each of us (to varying degrees) because of our ancient survival instincts (ego-centrism) as well as our need to belong to groups or a tribe (tribal mentality for survival and resources). When you put these simple concepts together the answer is simple to understand, but oftentimes difficult to execute… Speak in terms of the other person’s interests and priorities and then validate them, their choices, and who they are non-judgmentally. Some people do this naturally, for the rest you can build this skill and it eventually becomes second nature

Steps to success!

1. Validate every question and opinion non-judgmentally. If you don’t happen to agree, simply ask “that’s a fascinating / insightful/ thoughtful opinion… would you mind helping me understand how you came up with it?” Again, their brain will reward them on multiple levels for this

2. See: http://www.farnamstreetblog.com/2013/07/ten-techniques-for-building-quic...